September 2010
2 posts
November 2009
1 post
October 2009
2 posts
August 2009
4 posts
Oui, mate.
One cow-orker is a French German from Alsatia, who learned English in New Zealand. The accent is schizophrenic.
Pvened?
In my quest to be not at all like me, I’ve cleaned something to the point of unscrewing it, taking it apart to clean it from the inside, and putting it back together. The oven is pwned.
Which reminds me, I have heard that word used in casual, real-life conversation. By a 6-year-old. To his mom. Apparently, it’s pronounced “POH-ned”.
Gah
Seasoning a new cast-iron pan from Chinatown promises great long-term rewards but causes immediate, hot, smoky grief. Be told.
Digs
I’m in the 25th apartment I’ve ever lived in, and I’m 25 years old as of a few days ago. You can tell I don’t get too attached to places. Someone told me I should write to the future self to remind him how the place was when I found it, and let him know the difference he made.
I’m in love with the location, the studenty vibe of the neighbourhood, the century-old...
July 2009
2 posts
Whoa
So I’ve moved into… let’s say 289 Brampton Ave (digits and street name changed). I’ve just noticed, after writing an email with both, that my cell number is 289-2892.
June 2009
7 posts
Post for Reading
BMO’s Institute for Learning has a very straightforward name. Institute for Learning. Store for Shopping. Church for Praying. Corporation for Profit. Motel for Screwing Around Behind Your Spouse’s Back.
Theophilus, don’t perform oral sex on girls... →
“O walls, you have held up so much tedious graffiti that I am amazed that you have not already collapsed in ruin” - they’ve had postmodernism in AD 79.
I've gotta buy what.
Note: the phrase “not unless you’ve got a bike rack” is tricky. Avoid it.
The Monkey's Paw →
Answer to my own question. Dundas and Ossington.
Iggy Pop's concert rider →
via The Smoking Gun via Mefi
May 2009
13 posts
Have you ever noticed
That if you try to forget for a moment about all the cultural connotations—if you kind of close one eye and pretend that you’re seeing them for the first time—churches, specifically Orthodox ones, and, to a lesser extent, Catholic and Anglican ones from Gothic on, look a lot like a sort of a communication post for contacting an extraterrestrial intelligence? It’s as though the...
Things I have enjoyed
I like instant communication. Security guard at the entrance to a hospital looks like the guy with the mouse. Me: “Did you see the guy? He looked…” N: “With the mouse!”
This place is awesome. Check it out if you’re looking for a somewhat more genuine souvenir than what you can get on the street. You’re probably not going to find great treasure (you...
Uncomfortably realistic
So I’m listening to this audio course in French. I get to repeat things a lot, which is to be expected. Thing is, the imaginary interlocutors react exactly how you’d expect someone to react if you ask almost the same question ten times. They grow more and more annoyed. The effect is very subtle, but it accumulates, and you end up feeling like you’ve just been a dick to a total...
The more you know
Alexandre Dumas père, Victor Hugo and Emil Zola are all buried in the same cell in the crypt of the Panthéon. Foucault’s pendulum is creepy (the pendulum, not the book).
You need a credit card to use the take-anywhere drop-anywhere bicycle system. I’m sure it would’ve been awesome.
If you’re a student under 25, an ISIC gets you into most museums for free or almost free.
...
Numbers.
12000+ km flown.
2500+ steps climbed.
1.5+ books in French read.
3300+ items in Reader unread.
Happiness achieved.
Pictures soon.
Я улетел, но обещал вернуться.
Back on the 11th.
April 2009
12 posts
Done.
What has two letters and is done with exams?
Me.
I'm linking to McSweeney's like the cool people →
Twitter seems to be, first and foremost, an online haven where teenagers making drugs can telegraph secret code words to arrange gang fights and orgies. It also functions as a vehicle for teasing peers until they commit suicide.
Uncomfortable Plot Summaries →
HARRY POTTER: Celebrity jock thinks rules don’t apply to him, is right.
Would be better if THE PASSION OF THE CHRIST was also “Unplanned pregnancy leads to complications”.
Note to self
There: Toronto May 1st 9:25 PM – Paris May 2nd 10:55 AM Back: Paris May 11th 12:00 PM – Toronto May 11th 2:15 PM
“My administration is the only thing between you and the pitchforks.”
– Barack Obama to bank CEOs, April 3, 2009
Tales from the hood
In front of a Polish restaurant, two brothers in their late 20s are in a violent disagreement over whom Mother loves more. I know they are, because they’re arguing in heavily accented English, like in a bad Cold War movie. I think it’s about to become a fistfight.
Oh no
Why didn’t I know that OCAD got a new rapid prototyping machine (3D printer) and a laser etcher this year?
(Probably because I skip mass emails from the university with crap like exciting student government news).
Now if you excuse me I have an etch I gotta sketch.
I bet you haven't thought about it either
Prof: Think about the CN Tower. What do you do with it when it gets old?
Someone 1: I heard it's rated for 200 years.
Prof: Yeah, 200 years. So how do you dismantle a building like that?
Someone 2: Very carefully?
March 2009
33 posts
Anarchy for sale
Why would somebody buy red-and-blue blinking nightlights? It looks like a police car drowned in your lawn.
Fair warning: the lab complex is called "Gross...
Girl: Which one is the gallbladder? Can I see the gallbladder? I had mine taken out.
Prof: I think...here, under the liver...oh yeah. Check it out, you can feel a gallstone inside! It's huge!
Everyone: Ooh.
Me: Can I see the appendix? I lost mine.
Prof: Here, right at the bottom of...here. This thing. You guys are really bad with losing organs.
Girl: I didn't lose mine. I know where it is! It's in a jar in my room.
Everyone: Ooh.
Words which lose meaning with repetition
Prof: ...abdominal is the dangerous kind of fat. Women, on the other hand, tend to deposit fat in the saddlebags, the kind of fat which is less metabolically dangerous.
Girl: Is that a medical term, saddlebags?
Prof: I...don't actually know. Isn't that what women call saddlebags?
Girl: I've never called my saddlebags saddlebags.
Prof: That would be because you don't have any.
Girl: Well I won't call them saddlebags when I do!
Mr. 'hyde
Formaldehyde smells like the tears of the tortured souls of the damned. It gets into your clothes and you smell like the tears of the tortured souls of the damned for the rest of the day. People in the street are like “did some tortured souls of the damned cry on this guy or what?”